Managing Sleep Schedules With Multiple Kids
I work with a lot of first time parents in my business. This usually means (unless they’re a parent of multiples, which shout out to you all! You are champs!) that there is just one little’s sleep schedule that we are managing when we are creating their customized plan. This makes things all neat and tidy and simple. However, most parents will eventually have more than one child, so what do we do with sleep schedules then?
How do we manage sleep schedules, and schedules in general when there are multiple children and ages and activities to consider?
This is an excellent question and one that is going to have a variety of answers! I am a big supporter of, “what works best for your family is the best decision for your family,” and that is going to play in big time when answering this question. I have some tips, tricks, and suggestions, but ultimately, you have to do what works best for your life and your family.
Get consistency where you can
I talk and talk and talk about the importance of consistency in my content here and with my clients. I truly believe that it is so important and beneficial for little ones’ sleep. However, consistency is not always possible when you have siblings involved that have places they need to be and their own age appropriate sleep schedule. If consistency is feeling particularly hard in your life right now, check out my post on special occasions. This talks about how you can focus in on consistency while introducing something new or changing something about your baby’s sleep schedule, and once they’ve learned this new skill or pattern, they will have the ability to be much more flexible. So if consistency is hard to maintain for your family with multiple children, focusing in on consistency just while establishing a sleep schedule, rather than stressing about it all of the time could be really helpful for you. When you are able to offer consistency, wonderful. When it’s just not happening, the skills you’ve taught your little one when you were able to be consistent will help them to be more flexible and adapt.
Focus on overall sleep
If a consistent nap schedule for your little one is just not going to work, if their naps are getting cut short, or having to be on the go, or whatever it is, set your focus more on their overall sleep in a 24 hour period. Look at how much sleep they need in 24 hours for their age, and then make that your main goal to be met of how much sleep they are getting, rather than focusing on precisely when that sleep happens. Then, focus on the amount of sleep they are getting over the course of a week. So if their sleep gets cut short one day because big brother had a double header baseball game, don’t get over stressed about it, just try and offer them a little more sleep the next day. Looking at their overall sleep needs in both a 24 hour period, and over the course of a week can be really helpful when a precise nap schedule is just not going to work for your family. Remember that sleep on the go counts too! So if they can sneak in a car nap on the way to pick up siblings from school, or a stroller nap while you’re watching big sister’s practice, that counts toward their overall sleep! So try and sneak in those creative naps when you can, and then do crib naps whenever you are home and able.
What about if your kiddos share a room?
How do you manage different sleep schedules then? There are a few factors to consider here - one of which is what child is your deeper sleeper? If you have to put one kid down while the other is already asleep, or you know one is going to wake up screaming long before you want the other one to wake up, try and adjust your schedule to your kids in this way. So put your deeper sleeper down first, let them fall asleep, then put the other kiddo down for their nap. That way if it takes kiddo #2 a bit to fall asleep, they are less likely to disrupt kiddo #1 who is already in their deep sleep. Another option to consider here is having one child nap in a different room of the house. Depending on the child’s age, you could set up a pack ‘n’ play for naptime in your room, an office, or a guest room, or you could have an older child nap in your bed or a guest bed instead of their room if they have a sibling napping in their room. Again, these are just some ideas for you - do what makes the most sense for your family and lifestyle.
Quick note on multiples
If you are a twin, triplet, or other multiple parent, definitely keep your babies on the same schedule. Just trust me on this one, it will be so beneficial. It will also make their schedule easier to manage for you!
Some families are on the go constantly, and some are more homebodies with less on their agendas throughout the day. How much you can focus in on a set schedule or how much flexibility you need from your children is going to vary widely from family to family, and that is okay! This is why 1) you need to do what works best for you and your family, and 2) why it is so important to me that at The Mindful Nursery every one of our consulting packages comes with a completely customized plan for your child that meets the unique needs and goals of your family. Are you having trouble navigating sleep with a new baby around and older siblings that still have sleep needs and school needs and playdates happening and their own doctors appointments to go to? Send us a message so we can chat about what a good approach to multiple schedules might be for your family!
~Becca